Moving to Los Angeles in December 2017 was a big change from life in NYC and Baltimore. One of the most inspiring things about LA was the plants and trees...surreal Dr. Seuss-ian succulents and crazy cactuses that seemed to have such distinct personalities that spoke to me on my long days as a dog walker. Written between 2018-2020.
This is my blog about the colorful personalities of Los Angeles’ plant life.
Walking in the rare rain in LA today, Palm Tree Eyes made me do a double take and then mockingly yelled- “Open your eyes!” I laughed out loud because I like obvious jokes. But then I looked back. “Yeah, I’m talking to YOU. Open your freaking eyes. All of them! Beauty is all around you!!!!!!” I was a little offended. Geez. Why are you yelling? It’s like 56 degrees (which is cold here) and raining (which is weird). Ok, ok. I get it. You’re talking to me and I can hear you. So, I went home and I looked up the origin of the word “beauty.” It is an Anglo-French fusion of the word “bealte” referring to physical attractiveness and Old French “biauté” meaning beauty, seductiveness...also with some Latin roots in “bell” from “bellitatem” which is a state of being pleasing to the senses. The present day useage is defined by dictionary.com as: “the quality of being present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).” Huh....isn’t that interesting. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. Subjective sensory and spiritual factors dependent on PRESENCE. Beautiful. Wait...is that redundant? “Wake the fuck up,” said Palm Tree Eyes. I’m TRYING!!! Beauty is all around me? But staying present in this day and age is harder than it seems. “No excuses. Try.” Was the reply. Ok. I’m trying. #beauty #openyoureyes #losangelesplantlife #plantlover #try #tryharder 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁
Being misunderstood is just what Estrella had come to expect from life. She is a “poinsettia.” A plant of original Mexican ancestry, named for a American minister, popularized by a German immigrant who settled in Eagle Rock in in 1900 who then grafted new varieties together and popularized her family as disposable holiday decor the world over. And no, those aren’t flowers, those are leaves. They are called “bracts” and it takes 12 hours a night of uninterrupted darkness to even get that color...which the Aztecs used to dye stuff. And none of those men even originated the Christmas connection in the first place. It was a poor little girl named Pepita in the 16th freaking century who couldn’t afford a gift for Jesus so an angel told her to gather weeds from the roadside and put them on an altar. But Pepita aside, Estrella HATES Christmas. You would, too, if you watched the decorated windows on your street fill with lively friends at Thanksgiving only to see their skeletal remains dumped head first into the garbage by Valentine’s Day. But also she hates Christmas because she’s a pagan and believes in many gods and goddesses, like every Spurge plant she knows. So, Estrella says suck it, Christmas!!! She doesn’t need your cheap foil packaging to give her purpose. She may have started out as a holiday hanger-on but she’s a fucking bush now and she’s not going to stop being deep and vibrant and awesome all year long for ANYBODY! #plantlover #poisettia #losangelesplantlife
“Special delivery!” Sylvia’s plan to spread herself across the country began back in 2006. Once she established her root network she realized there was no limit to the places she could go. She felt the call to adventure that every hero must answer, lest they miss life’s initiation into greatness. Sylvia felt it deeply. The longing for the unknown, the deep desire for dissolution into the moment that only leaving home can provide. Following her heart’s calling meant a complete rejection of the mundane, “normal” path her parents had had in pots. She had a bigger vision for herself and Blue Chalk Stick plants everywhere. Sylvia wanted to be blown by different winds, taste a new flavor of soil and, for this, she was cast of out of certain succulent circles. But she was nothing if not true to herself. Her experiments with travel were horizontal at first and then she discovered verticality, pushing her expansion up and over the cement wall to reach the sidewalk. While hanging over the edge was thrilling at times, she suspected she may need some help to have the REAL excitement. One day a light went on, she had the brilliant idea of mailing herself like a letter! If only she could get inside of the mailbox, then she could just mail herself to someplace exotic! And look at her now. She’s nearly there! Go, Sylvia!! Don’t ever give up your dream of adventure! #losangelesplantlife #cactuschronicles #suckerforsucculents #bluechalkstick
Although it was cloudy all morning, when I placed my hand on one of Reginald’s bald fleshy paddles, it was warm to the touch. “How could this be?” I thought. Is there blood coursing beneath this weathered green skin? “It’s more like a fine wine,” he answered. Oh, Reginald! How I love a wine metaphor. Well, you don’t get wine without smashing a few grapes and Reginald had the battle scars to prove it. The gnarled base reminiscent of a distant deciduous relative, with a bark like scabs that have formed over battle wounds. Most of his spines all removed through entanglements or clipping or maybe they just gave up. Reginald had a character and depth of authority that commanded respect but also beckoned me in, promising sophisticated philosophical conversation with salt-of-the-earth practical wisdom. You can’t buy this kind of character. Is this why most women date older men? Do I even need to ask rhetorical questions with Reginald standing before me, coursing warm wine blood beneath my curious hand? I pulled my hand back and felt flush. #cactuschronicles #losangelesplantlife #plantlover #cactuslove
Frida was ON FIRE today. She practically burnt my retinas with her branches of vibrant orange and yellow ombré...all jazz-hands-ing at me for attention. Well, you got my attention, Frida. When I stepped in closer for a better look she said loudly- “I’M CORAL OF THE LAND, BITCH!!” I could not deny that she appeared to be coral of the land. The sky was obviously her sea. I stood in awe, feeling as if I was watching my own private Discovery Channel show about the Great Barrier Reef...but on land. I needed to know more. So the internet encyclopedia informed me that colloquial names for her include “Fire Stick Plant” and “Indian Tree Spurge” and that this plant “produces a poisonous latex which can, with little effort, be converted to the equivalent of gasoline. This led chemist Melvin Calvin to propose the exploitation of E. tirucalli for producing oil.” Oh great, another conspiracy must be taking place that’s hiding a perfect, renewable energy alternative to gasoline. Why aren’t we driving around in Frida-powered cars? Well, today didn’t answer questions, it only raised them. Many mysteries are unfolding as I get to know the succulents and cacti of Los Angeles...stay tuned. #cactuschronicles #plantlover #losangelesplantlife
One of the things I’m enjoying most about LA is all of the freaky deaky plant life! I’ve never lived on the west coast so all these succulents and cacti look like Dr. Seuss on acid to me! My friend Josh actually told me that Dr. Seuss actually lived in San Diego, so this makes total sense. Anyway. These prehistoric plants are breathing and talking to me every day as I walk all over. Today this guy talked to me. My plant app said it was a Totem Pole Cactus but those don’t have spines, this guy does, so I’m still trying to find out his latin and colloquial name, but we will call him Tom. Tom has smooth flesh with nubby protrusions like hundreds of tiny angel toes. Tom has a soft smattering of hair-like quills which are a nod to his cactus heritage, while displayed in casual style conveying his commitment to nonviolence. Tom is looking for someone who gets him. Aren’t we all, Tom?!? #cactus #cactuslove #tomthecactus #cactuschronicles